Arthur
Arthur is a character in Fable III bent on insulting the entire population of Albion. In the quest "The Final Insult", Arthur requests the delivery of an insult to Zachary in Brightwall. Arthur's Insults This section is incomplete This is a list of the people insulted by Arthur, the respective messages sent to them, and where to find the letters: ;A Letter to Benjamina :My dear Benjamina, you're nothing but a moon-faced loon! Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found in Bowerstone Market inside the house named The Shrine, just outside the Bowerstone Market gate. The letter can be found on the first floor. ;A Letter to Bernard :My dear Bernard, one of these days the chicken god is going to come down from his celestial coop in the sky and peck out your eyes! So there! Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found in Brightwall, on the ground next to the well in front of Bernard's house, "House of Cluck". ;A Letter to Gangster Bob :My dear Bob, you're a ruthless crook and a big booby as well! And since you ARE a ruthless crook, I'm not signing this letter, so that I can remain anonymous. Yours, Arthur This letter can be found in the Hideout in Bowerstone Market, on a table in the first large room. ;A Letter to Dans Mourir :My dear Dans, what a pea-brained moon-calf you are. Oh and your books are rubbish. Yours sincerely, Arthur. This letter can be found in Dankwater Cavern, on the ground at the spot where you left Dans Mourir during the quest Hobnobbing with Hobbes. ;A Letter to Deirdre :My Dear Deirdre, You're a murdering whore. Wait a minute, you are actually a murdering whore. So that doesn't count as an insult does it? Hmm… You're a fat-faced freak. There! Yours sincerely, Arthur. This letter can be found in the locked office of the shelter building in Bowerstone Industrial if the decision is made to turn the shelter into a brothel. ;A Letter to Katie :My dear Katie, you're a crazy animal-loving freak and a total nutter. So there! Yours sincerely, Arthur ;A Letter to King Logan :My dear King Logan, you're a crusty slug and a black-hearted tyrant to boot! You might scare the lily-livered peons and sycophants you surround yourself with, but you do not scare me! Yours sincerely, an anonymous citizen. This letter can be found in Bowerstone Castle after the Hero's Coronation, on a table just inside the front doors. ;A Letter to Lesley :My dear Lesley, you ate my cousin, you evil bastard! Also, have you seen the face of a fruit bat? That's your face, that is. Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found within The Dark Sanctum. ;A Letter to Mark, Jim and Ben :Dear Mark, Jim and Ben, you wet-nosed, soggy-brained gamer-geeks! You sad cheese-faced nerds! Why don't you get a life and stop all that wimply roleplaying? Yours sincerely, Arthur. P.S. How are your girlfriends? Don't bother, 'cos you haven't got any! This letter can be found upstairs in the gamers' house in Bowerstone Market. ;A Letter to Reaver :My dear Reaver, you're a sallow-faced, peanut-brained jackanapes! Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found on a table in Reaver's Manor. ;A Letter to Russel the Art Collector :My dear Russel, you're a jumped-up arrogant buffoon who thinks he knows about art but really doesn't. Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found on Russel's art stand in Bowerstone Old Quarter. ;A Letter to Saul :My dear Saul, you're an odd fish and no mistake. Possibly a Trout, or maybe even weirder like a sea cucumber or something. Though technically, they aren't fish. Anyway, you look like some kind of mutant fish thing. So there! Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found on a table in a side room of Brightwall Academy. ;A Letter to (Mrs) Tibbins :My dear Mrs Tibbins, you're a whey-faced old toad and no mistake. Oh and your son looks like a fish, which I've pointed out to him. Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter can be found behind Mrs. Tibbins' caravan in the Dweller Camp. ;A Letter to Zachary :My dear Zachary, you are an ugly incompetent buffoon and nobody likes you! Yours sincerely, Arthur This letter gets delivered by the Hero in the quest The Final Insult. ;Clockwork Island Guest List :You blundering cog-faced buffoon! My grandmother screws a better wingnut than you! Arthur After downloading Traitor's Keep and visiting Clockwork Island, Arthur's insult can be read on the guest list. The note is directed at Professor Faraday. Trivia *The concept here is a reference to a book in A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, in which an alien deals with his immortality by insulting everyone in the universe in alphabetical order. Arthur is the name of the series protagonist. *Strangely enough, Arthur mistakes Saul as Mrs. Tibbins' son. *Before you become the Ruler of Albion, some of the villagers will mention they received a letter from Arthur and exclaim about the rudeness of their insult. Gallery Arthur.jpg Category:Fable III Characters